Commitment Phobic Men and Women
How to deal with Commitment Phobia
At one point in your life, you will date a commitment phobic man or woman. At one point in your life, you might actually be among the thousands of women and men afraid of commitment. This is a very real issue plaguing the dating and relationship scene and everyone who is struggling with love and all of it’s “attachments.”
Whether you are in a dying relationship with a commitment phobe or you are sick of hurting the people in your life because of your deep-seated (and sometimes irrational) fear of commitment, one fact remains: hearts are getting crushed no matter which end of this you are on.
The Realities of Commitment Phobia
Hi, I’m Roberto Hogue, author of The Art of Irresistible. I’m a relationship coach and dating advice columnist for several different websites.
I’m also a recovering commitment phobe and I’ve had my heart obliterated by several commitment phobic relationships.
For several years, I had hopped from one intense relationship to another and all of them had ended destructively by my own hand. It wasn’t until I found someone with the same commitment phobic tendencies that I finally looked back to see all the people I had deeply damaged myself.
In every single broken relationship, I had followed the same pattern over and over (and over!) again. I had walked away from each one thinking I had made a clean break. To be completely honest, I had felt nothing each time I walked away. Later on, I felt a massive guilt and shame for what I’d done so I’d come back and start the cycle all over again. Each time getting hopes up only to disappoint and destroy all over again.
Then it came to my day of reckoning!
It wasn’t until I found myself begging my ex suffering from her own fear of intimacy that I realized she did to me everything I had done to others. And I will be the very first person to admit that I deserved every second of the devastating heartache I felt that year! To this day, I still yearn for that girl in a way that I’m embarrassed to admit.
The Patterns of Commitment Phobic Relationships
The moment I realized that all of these relationships followed the exact same patterns every single time is the day I vowed that I would never ever do it again. I vowed that, no matter what, whoever I dated would have a better life for knowing me.
Not only were these patterns of commitment phobia predictable, I was soon learning they were actually quite common. All over the world, thousands of relationships are suffering due to commitment phobic men and women and their lovers who enable them to keep doing the same things over and over again.
Perhaps it’s easier to think of your commitment phobic lover as a monster actually hates you and is deliberately trying to destroy every last piece of your soul. The truth is they are just following this pattern stamped in their brain. They don’t hate because it’s hard to really feel anything. They crave the intense love they get at the very beginning of a relationship, but when that fades, they disappear in unimaginable ways.
They sabotage the love you share just to prove to you that all the vague negative things they told you in the beginning of the relationship are true. And then they’re gone and you’re left like a pallid zombie unable to care enough about anything to get out of bed.
You see, when your commitment phobic boyfriend or girlfriend does one thing, you are almost psychologically bound to react in a very typical way. This then sets up their next stage which you respond to the most predictable way and so on. There are two people replaying this pantomime but if just one of you could break the cycle, the outcome could be entirely different.
That’s not to say that the outcome won’t include a breakup. Statistically, this is what happens most of the time, but there are ways to protect your heart and not let someone with a fear of commitment break your heart entirely. Believe me, things will only get worse!
Finally a way to deal with commitment phobic people!
Introducing Commitment Phobic: How to Deal With Fear of Commitment! This book is not only invaluable to someone who is going through the torment of losing a seemingly amazing relationship, it also helps someone struggling with commitment phobia.
In this book you will learn:
- Easy ways to identify the commitment phobic before you fall in too deep
- How to spot someone with love addiction who only craves the early parts of the relationship
- What to do when women or men with commitment phobia start to fade out of the relationship
- How to handle, “I need some space”
- What to do when they disappear
- Is your girlfriend or boyfriend cheating on you?
- How to break the commitment phobic cycle
- Typical things a commitment phobe might say
- How to stop your heart from getting broken over and over again
- How to move on when things are over
And for those of you who have a real fear of commitment, I’ll show you:
- The things you convince yourself of that make you think you’ve walked away clean
- All the things you do to manipulate the people you supposedly love
- How your love addiction really affects your brain
- If you are doomed to repeat this cycle over and over again
- How not to die alone and miserable
Save yourself from commitment phobic relationships!
Commitment Phobic: How to Deal With Fear of Commitment is a blueprint on how to decode what your lover says that might lead you down the path to a painful breakup. It empowers you to break the commitment phobic cycle so you won’t do the next step that will trigger his or her next phase. It gives you very real and important advice on how to see what’s happening and how to keep your wits about yourself so you can either save your relationship or at least leave with dignity.